Ok but like. What the fuck is there to do on the internet anymore?
Idk when I was younger, you could just go and go and find exciting new websites full of whatever cool things you wanted to explore. An overabundance of ways to occupy your time online.
Now, it’s just… Social media. That’s it. Social media and news sites. And I’m tired of social media and I’m tired of the news.
Am I just like completely inept at finding new things or has the internet just fallen apart that much with the problems of SEO and web 3.0 turning everything into a same-site prison?
ALSO you should consider browsing Virtual Pet List and seeing if there are any pet sites you might be interested in playing. There is a whole genre of browser games right under your nose
Archive.org has free book lending world-wide (if you make a free account), and free software library of old games! Also a lot of weird public domain video materials.
I want to be in love I want to have a beautiful relationship with someone who is right for me and I them, but I doubt I can find that and more so I don’t have the time for it. I want someone who will accept me completely who I can trust, who is funny and kind to me, and who doesn’t judge or hold grudges.
I want someone who is cool with silence or long conversations, and listening to a lot of music. Who likes late night car rides with the windows open and the volume high enough to shake the car. Who I can talk to about my joy or my anger and not feel like I’m putting them out by expressing myself.
Someone who doesn’t make me feel like I have to constantly talk and constantly be clinging together because I do like my alone time too. I want someone who understands me
not normal: feeling tired regardless of what you’ve done that day
normal: waking up tired every now and then due to stress or lack of sleep
not normal: waking up tired most mornings
normal: getting a little tired after standing for long periods of time
not normal: not being able to stand for very long without tiring out. being stood up drains your energy
normal: being tired more often during times of peak stress and lack of sleep, but otherwise fine
not normal: being tired/exhausted consistently for over 6 months
normal: melting into the sofa after a long day, and then struggling a little to get up
not normal: being too exhausted to move, to eat, to talk, or to do anything a person might be expected to do in an evening
normal: not liking to get out of bed in the morning
not normal: having mornings where you physically cannot get out of bed, or struggle greatly to get out of bed
the key thing is that it is not normal for you to spend most of your time being too tired to do daily tasks, and it is not normal to exist in a constant state of exhaustion. if possible, you should seek help if you’ve been experiencing fatigue for a while
If you struggle with chronic fatigue and consistently get cold/flu symptoms within 24-48hrs after overexerting, look up the international consensus criteria for myalgic encephalomyelitis (used to be called chronic fatigue syndrome).
Some things that can cause chronic fatigue like described above, that are disturbingly common and a lot of people show little awareness of, include:
Chronic sleep debt - Yes, for some people getting only 7 hours of sleep is not enough and if you’re getting much less than 7 regularly, you’re virtually guaranteed to not be getting enough sleep
Overtraining / physical overexertion - “Exercise is good”, yes, but there’s only so much a body can handle. If you are pushing yourself to continue in strenuous exercise before your body has been able to heal and rebound from past workouts, you can end up running your body down.
Nutritional deficiencies - You may not be getting enough calories (this is disturbingly common in our society which glorifies thinness especially for women) and you may not be getting enough protein, and there may be various micronutrient deficiencies that manifest as fatigue. Even if your diet is adequate you might have a genetic condition leading to a metabolic disorder, or issues with your gut microbiome, either of which can lead you to not absorb or retain enough of certain nutrients.
Depression - In many people, depression manifests as fatigue and in some people it can manifest primarily or even exclusively as fatigue. It may be that the cause of your fatigue is primarily in your mental state and you may need to treat the depression to address the fatigue.
A long list of other health conditions, including various diseases as well as conditions like hypothyroidism, various other hormone imbalances, autoimmune disorders, or issues with various organs including heart, liver, kidneys, and lungs
Medication side-effects. Some medications make you chronically tired. This can be a side-effect not only of things you’d expect it to be a side-effect of (like sedatives) but also of all sorts of other medicines like antidepressants
This list may seem intimidating but the beauty is that an overwhelming majority of these causes are treatable, and those that aren’t may still be manageable, and either way you will be better off if you can figure out what is going on. Do not accept chronic fatigue as inevitable!
I’ve seen people close to me go years dealing with chronic fatigue only to find it had a very simple cause that was easily treatable, and they could have had the solution the whole time but instead just put up with the fatigue because they treated it as just the way they were.
I know it’s hard to expend effort when you’re dealing with fatigue, but think of it like this, if you have chronic fatigue, the best possible thing to prioritize is fixing the fatigue. If you can do this, you will have more energy for literally every other problem or responsibility in your life.
Even saying ”I’m so sorry, I completely forgot” sounds marginally better than ” I’m so sorry, I didn’t completely forget, I actually completely remembered. I thought about it the whole time and it stressed me out so much my brain built an insurmountable wall around it.”
Image description: A tweet by @danidonovan which reads: “the ADHD urge to lie about why you didn’t do something because ‘my brain refused to start on it’ doesn’t make sense to a lot of neurotypicals”
I recently discovered laundry stripping and y’all, no matter how much of a crock of shit you think fast fashion is, you’re underestimating.
[image ID: a screenshot of the notes on this post, featuring several people indicating they want to know more. End ID.]
OKAY SO. You know how we talk about how one way fast fashion has made itself “necessary” is that the clothing looks like shit and feels horrible after just a few washes?
Let. Me. Tell. You. Something.
Laundry stripping is a process where you load your laundry into a tub or bin (I’ve been using my bathtub) with warm water, half a cup of borax, half a cup of washing soda, and half a cup of laundry soap (not detergent, SOAP, there’s a chemical difference). Leave it there for at least eight hours. I’ve been going for 12-24.
What you will come back to is a tub full of nearly-opaque black-gray-brown water that absolutely REEKS. This is normal. You are looking at (and smelling) hard water buildup, body sweat and oils that were embedded in the fabric, dead skin, and just regular grime.
Wring out your clothes. Throw them in the washer. (I like to do a spin-only cycle before going any further, because I have one of those washers that determines by weight how much water any given load needs.) Wash as usual.
You will notice I didn’t suggest any further pretreatment, and that’s because 1) you don’t want to layer too many chemicals on top of each other but also 2) you may not even need it.
When your clothes come out, check each one as it goes into the dryer, and if anything else s still stained, set it aside to run again with a regular pretreatment. One of the sweaters I did this with apparently did need a second treatment…to deal with what appears to have possibly been a hot chocolate stain that was previously invisible due to “well, it’s old” dinginess. Iwasplanning to throw this sweater out. It looks almost new now. I need to wash it one more time for the probably-a-hot-chocolate stain, and then it needs to have the hem weighted to block it and bring it back to evenness, but dude. I wear my clothes to rags and I thought this thing was unfixable. “I need to reshape it” is nothing.
Remove clothes from dryer when done. Fucking MARVEL at the colors and how good the fabric feels. Give them a smell. Get righteously and royally angry that you can rejuvenate this stuff so easily, with a process that does take awhile but is 90% hands-off, but we’ve been trained to believe it’s all got to be binned once a year because discoloration and gross fabric is “normal wear and tear” and can’t be fixed.
It’s utterly unreal! I just pulled a seven-year-old work undershirt out of the dryer and this thing looks NEW!! It FEELS almost new!!! One of the shirts I hung up from the last load is older than some of the people on this site and it went from “I keep this to wear on laundry day, for sentimental reasons” to “I could actually wear this out of the house, it looks old but respectable”! The pajama bottoms I’m wearing were from Goodwill and they have BRIGHT YELLOW in them! I thought it was goldenrod!!
I do not know how often you’re supposed to do this (doing it every time can strip the dye out of your clothes, not to mention it’s way too much work to do every time), but once or twice per season seems respectable. I don’t wear white, so I can’t test the “it will make whites look almost-new as well” claim, but I’ve seen a lot of people on the cleaning subreddit attest that it works.
Just remember: WASHING soda. Not baking soda. I tried baking soda and a little bit happened, but not a lot.
Go forth. Rejuvenate your clothing. Strip your laundry.
I have a question about the “set it aside to run again with a regular pretreatment” bit: What is your regular pretreatment?
For grease: Dawn dish soap and a toothbrush. For blood: soak in peroxide, rinse, apply more peroxide. For ink: alcohol. Rubbing alcohol is best, vodka is an acceptable substitute. Do not use colored liquor like tequila or whiskey. Aerosol hairspray will work in a pinch. For red wine or grape juice: white wine. For “what the fuck is that, anyway?” stains: OxyClean Max Force Gel Stick. For “oh shit, there was a red shirt in with my whites” stains: I’m very sorry. Try bleach?
Spot-apply all of these. In other words don’t just toss your period panties into a sink full of peroxide, pour some peroxide over the crotch. Apply alcohol with a cotton facial pad or, failing that, a washcloth or kleenex.
Let it sit for five to fifteen minutes, then throw it in the wash. Try to use cold water; hot water will set stains.
small observations for people who are just starting testosterone HRT
If you suffer from chronic fatigue, chronic illness, or mental illness, you may notice that your energy levels dip down very low after first starting T. this is due your body needing extra energy to process the extra hormones, not anything long lasting. after your body adjusts, this fatigue will go away, and you may actually find that you have way, way more energy now
Beards love to be patchy and mustaches love to be invisible or nonexistent at first. if your beard is patchy at first, or if you just can’t grow a full mustache, this is also normal. it can take years of testosterone HRT for beards to become full, especially if you had low T to begin with. moisturizing your beard regularly can help reduce this, and also any potential itchiness from being too long. beards will get itchy for many if they get long.
The acne (should) go away after your body adjusts, and you will not be greasy forever. you will find that your natural body odor smells different, though. this lasts as long as you are on T, as far as i’m aware for most people, but it’s only noticeable for me when i get very sweaty after a lot of exertion, or illness.
You may find after you adjust that you have generally a bit more stamina or ease with starting up or adjusting to new physical activities after you’ve adjusted. it may be easier for you to work out now because you don’t become fatigued as easy, for example, or you may find it is easier for you to put on muscle density.
The mood swings will calm down in time- they are most severe right after you start T, and then taper down as your body adjusts. it doesn’t turn you into a “rage monster”. you just go through normal pubescent moodiness. it’s manageable, especially if you have good coping skills like physical activity, journaling, or art while stressed.
Libido goes either way, i’ve noticed. many people see a huge spike in libido at first, sometimes it stays for a long time, other people don’t notice any change whatsoever. also, T for most people will not change what gender or type of person you are attracted to, however it can change how you view yourself in relationships and lead you to changing your identity labels, or questioning things. it generally doesn’t make people change their identities overnight, though
Periods do stop for the vast majority of transmascs. it can take a long time, but they do stop if your doseage of T is right for you. if yours haven’t stopped and you do not have reproductive health issues, you likely just need a higher dose to see this effect.
Breast tissue reduces in density when higher levels of testosterone are in the body, so it is very likely that you will see your breasts become flatter or even “Deflate” a bit. this is entirely normal. my chest has been like this my entire life due to very high T from hyperandrogenism & intersexuality
Balding can definitely happen, but this is generally only if you have a genetic predisposition to it. i have actually not seen many transmascs bald, although for many of us, our hairlines do shift upwards, but it’s not noticeable unless you compare how you look now to older pics of yourself, and generally it takes years for your hairline to migrate anyway, which is natural for AMAB people later in life anyway. even if you do bald, you can speak with your prescriber and have access to medications to help with balding. it’s not the end of the road and many respond very well to medication.
I just saw someone say the words “jokingly gaslight” this might be a good time to reintroduce the internet to the terms “lying” or perhaps “pranking” or even just “joking” on it’s own
Okay, say it with me guys…
If you are giving someone wrong information in the hopes that they’ll believe that it’s true, then that’s lying.
If you are giving someone wrong information under the assumption that they’ll ultimately realise that it’s false, and that they will find this funny, then that’s joking.
If you are giving someone wrong information in the hopes that they’ll believe that it’s true and that their response will be funny, then that’s a prank.
If you are giving someone wrong information in the hopes that they will notice the differences between your presentation of reality and their perception of it, and come to doubt their ability to judge what is and is not real, then that’s gaslighting.
